problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
