i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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