i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
