I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Pants are for mortals
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
