Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
