hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
