I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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