Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
