her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
