She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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