I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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