Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
