I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
whose parrot is this?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
