I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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