I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
