DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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