at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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