2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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