Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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