.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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