Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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