she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
