Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
