It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
