party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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