Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
