I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
