i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
