Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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