You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
