dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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