This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
