Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently you make a good broom.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."

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(630): View more from Illinois

I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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(303): View more from Colorado

I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.

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(607): View more from New York

Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again

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(925): View more from California

All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube

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(518): View more from New York

Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.

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