stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
