So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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