Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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