just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
