is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
