you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
