apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
