Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
