I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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