We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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