if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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