Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
soo... how was my night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
