butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
