i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
