She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
me + whiskey = a bad person
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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