He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
