Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
