people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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