piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
